Breaking the Cycle

My mother Barbara Mooney grew up in an abusive home. Her father my, grandfather, Hugh Harcrow was an alcoholic and a violent abuser. I believe this instilled within my mother a desire to become the best mother she could be for my sister Melissa and I to provide a healthy home life that she was robbed of as a little child. My mom was determined to break the cycle of family abuse by one day raising her children in a family quite unlike what she experienced in her home. I believe my mom made a conscious, nurturing decision probably even at a young age carrying what little torch of hope she had to one day do it differently as a parent. My mom has provided everything I have ever wanted. It was my moms sole purpose to have Melissa and I enrolled in Shiloh Hills Christian School during our formative years where we were fortunate enough to be given a foundation based on sound principles of the Bible that we have returned to even as we have grown older. I still remember a verses from Psalm 19 that I was led to memorize in second grade. "The law of the Lord is sweet like honey dripping from the comb."





When my mom was a little girl one night her tv was too loud for an angry,hungover Hugh. You have to remember this was the time of Ed Sullivan,Elvis ,and the Beatles which should have been an exiting and defining time for a young person,but my mothers father stormed into my mothers bedroom and twisted and bent completely the tv antenna so she couldn't watch tv anymore. Imagine living in a home life where you were threatened,and felt like your life was in danger if you were playing too loud;and you knew Hugh was sleeping off another hangover and headache in the next bedroom.





Because of the prescence of the scars my mom has carried all of her life as a result of the abuse at her own fathers hands I was appalled at the funeral for her father who had committed suicide in late December 1998 when the sherrif of Newton County which is in Conyers,Ga who has since retired said:" You know you should have visited your daddy more often." Maybe the sherrif knew about my moms abusive past or not. He lived in Newton County for decades. In most cases people know about the horrific situation,and they just chose to remain in denial and act like it never happened.





Any time my mom visits the home she grew up in memories like ghosts all come to life screaming from the walls of her childhood home as if each event is unfolding in present time all the memories of a traumatic past. Even 40 years after the abuse my mom can take you through her childhood home and recount what specific torment she endured. "If you go through the kitchen door this is where my daddy chased my mom with a pair of scissors."It was at this very mirror where my dad would say nobody will marry you Barbara Ann. Your going to stay right here." So Mr. sherrif, please excuse my mother for not visiting her daddy more often.