These Wings are Meant for Flying

Now the wings of the bird of my spirit have healed.
I am free from the clutching snare of the lowlying thicket of thorn.
I take to the skies and soar to the heights of the cross where
I am able to flutter and land upon the splintered beams of the cross.
I make my nest in the crown of thorns.
I no longer have to viciously peck along the forest floor for the tiniest morsel.
I just open my beak skyward and Father drops a worm of nourishment
into my mouth and the seeds of the word of God.

Earth Hour 2009

Jeremiah 15:16
Your words were found,and I ate them.
Your words became a delight to me and
the joy of my heart,for I am called by your name,
Lord God of hosts.

Last night all across the world at 8:30pm the lights in most major cities were turned off in honor of the second Earth Hour to promote energy conservation awareness. I believe the varied campaigns that promote environmental causes have been successful in bringing the mesage to the forefront of culture. Even the youngest generation is mindful of all the changes that need to be implemented in order to facilitate a healthier environment. I was talking to a five year old named Ella at Publix in Atlanta Georgia who was shoopping with her mom. I was amazed at just how articulate this little girl was in sharing environmental issues with me. Her mother told me that Ella cringes when she walks by the meat department,and Ella told the clerk how much she disaproved of animal meat being sold for public consumtion. Ella is precious and she has learned the information in kindergarten, because it has been taught and even indoctrinated at the earliest level of acadamia with children who absorb everything like a sponge and obviously retain complex materials and a fervor for causes just like Ella. There is a social and cultural shift in this generation. When I was little my mom took the mantle of "training up a child in the way he should go" with the utmost seriousness; and placed the cloak of Gods word gently upon my shoulders like a living prayer shawl. The characters and teachings of the Bible were so real and vivid in the life of this child so much so that now that I am older I have not departed. My mom began praying for my mate when I was in the womb. In fact if I stand before God there would be no valid excuses if I rejected His sons sacrifice because Ive been led to God by my mom taking the many diligent hours to show me that a loving God has been in pursuit of me. In Deuteronomy6:6 the scripture says: "These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you lie down and you get up." " So that you and your children after you may prosper and so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you for all time(Deut4:40). I believe above all else it is imperative to allow the word of God to preserve the eternal environment of the heart. Yes,God did command in Genesis that man is to be a responsible master over the earth having dominion,but God never intended for mankind to come to a place where the creation would be worshipped instead.
Im issuing a call for everyone in the world to seek God in prayer for an hour a day.
What if you could imagine the love of God descending and come down, seeking you
out whomever you may be and wherever you are. Ask for the kingdom come to be
fulfilled in your life and invading those around you with the love of God who loves the
world as one and every person as if all of His love was focused on just you. God we
must know the glory of Jesus Christ. Let our eyes flow with tears for your renown.

Going to the well

To be under a canopy of the Lord in a new beginning. Yet never tainted by a splash like a stone in the deepest well a healthy stream of blue where you peer into and see as it flows by where the wishes cannot run dry,in the blue river flowing in the heart seen as your eyes look downwards within the inexhaustible well;and beauty reflected from a glint of light as who you are,and you can hear the rushing river in a conch shell lying on the shore when you hold it to your ear.

Fame,Power,and Faith

Mt 20:16
So the last will be first,and the first last.

As I sit at my desk I can see an old and worn out Hollywood Star Map I found when I drove from Atlanta to Santa Monica California with a best friend Danny in the summer of 1996. I too like so many others felt some cosmic call to the mystical land of dreams. What would I have wagered then to find untold fortune and to be known,or better yet splashed across a billboard that is never changed along the sunset strip at the corner of the Viper Room then owned by Johnny Depp. You laugh,but nobody at the grocery store can stay away from the pages of US Weekly. We are star struck,and there is an innate, human need to be known. I think on some archtypal level we identify with a celebrity and think it could be us;or if that is what we must posses but cant achieve great do we consider ourselves less than. Now its become a way of life and purpose for many. Now starting at a young age kids want to be movie stars not doctors and lawyers. You may want to be the next american Idol. There is nothing wrong with seeking fame,but are we actually just a little grandiose in the diversion of acclaim that masks true societal pains creating a false utopia. Because when things are really bad where is the foundation when it all comes crumbling down.Now I realize the image Hollywood conjures is just that an image that is illusory. Culture is wonderful,but the manipulation of mass exposure is honestly just dizzying at times. I personally have to be grounded in truth that lasts. I was on a quest to be great and ended up broken beyond my means to atone for a debt I owed. I could osscilate between self deprecation and the heights of self love on a dime that always ended in disaster. As I look back on this imbalance it is what Im most greatful for because when I had nothing I was able to recieve and take in everything in Jesus Christ. All the desolate places I had stopped at on my journey of self preservation, hurt,and ruin I found were taken up in all the varied wounds of Jesus body and resurection from the dead. FREEDOM was granted. Let your aspiration be centered on Christ and you will most certainly find what is imperishable and great. I want to be known and famous at the throne of God through all the needy prayers of a beggar I offer up. In Philipians 2 the apostle Paul offers up a very distinct contrast to our modern cultural idea of fame and greatness. In Phil 2:6 it says "Make your attitude that of Christ Jesus who existing in the form of God did not consider equality with God to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross. For this reason God also highly exalted Him with the name that is above every name." Jesus wasnt just great for the sake of being great He gave the fulness of God away to ransom the world. Now there are members of UNICEF who make great sacrifices to aid cultural causes. I applaud Angelina Jolie,Brad Pitt,and George Clooney for graciously lending there celebrity to benefit those less fortunate and in need. What we need is Divine aid in the person of Jesus Christ. On my journey to achieve I realized that even my so called "greatness" will never measure up to the standard set by Jesus. I know it has been done. Now I begin to live. You can be who you are without the need of any other superficial posturing when you realize you have been called by God and Christ before the foundation of the world.(Eph 1:4).
Come one Come all. Welcome to Holywood

God may be more concerned than you know.

Psalm 104:27
All of them wait for you to give them there food
at the right time. When you give it to them,they gather
it; when you open there hand,they are satisfied.

Wolves born as pups in the arctic region are born blind and deaf being totally dependent upon the mother to survive. Each pup is helpless to grow and be healthy in the first critical weeks of life in the den. Many in a litter die in the early stages of a fragile life expectancy.
When I came across this peculiar fact in the animal kingdom I was not aware of I was amazed. Then I reflected on the stress of my worries this week as I deal with beginning the May semester at a state university and being unsure if I should even do it. What about finances or changing schedules adding to the coflict. What should I do? Finally after being weighed down with heavy burdens of worry and moving through a storm set deep within my heart I reflected on the tender wolf pups,and I realized surely if the God of the universe cares for the sustainability of 3-16 wolves in a crude den of rock and dirt how much more does He care for you and I so often finding ourselves in helpelessness soley relying upon the gracious hand of God to provide for the need. God is truly frequented with our needs,and He understands with an intimacy that only omniscience allows. So do not lose heart as God comes near the abode of infant wolves through the rythms of the natural world we must rest assured that the care of God and His sustenance visits the troubled heart and the tumult and hopelessness that our worries can often create.

My Living Wide Awake Mission Statement

When I first came to and was violently jarred awake I realized that I had not been living fully awake when I was on a mission trip to Romania in May2008. It painfully dawned on me that I was not about others. I have not been living for others out of hurt and the demands of being loved first. So with my eyes squinted enough to make out the first traces of the light of a new vision I fervrently asked God to make me about other people. I had become stagnant in this area of service; and I realized being only about me was vastly inhibiting Gods dream placed in my heart,and a vision oddly enough about reaching people through the story God is telling through my life.

I had a wide awake moment jusy deciding if I should buy the book Wide Awake by Erwin McManus. I was very disappointed because I had given a blog address that has several entries that are Christian inspiration to a published author in the Atlanta area;and I had seen this person several times without any feedback. Which led me to have a conversation with God. I was hurting and realized my dream to become a writer seemed to be slipping away once again. Instead of allowing selfish ambition to play out as intended I came to the place where I told God that I surrender all to what you have planned for me. I had been battling in my mind about picking up Wide Awake because I didnt want to read a book about being great because I didnt want to be reminded about how I couldnt measure up. Then at the exact time of starting Wide Awake I was shook from the deep sleep that has kept me for so many years when I was given a book at a divine intersection in my life that spoke about digging up your buried talent,gifts,and passions in a way that I have never been spoken to in my life. How do you posses something if you were never aware that it existed in the first place. Now that I have been studying the book that God led me to purchase I have been alive and wide awake in a way I have not known in the first thirty years of my life. Just the fact that I found the writing contest advertisement in the back of the book and decided to write again for a contest because I still believe I have something to share with others is living wide awake and in a state of expectancy. It is an enlivening experience to make conscious decisions to live wide awake in pursuit of a dream that could be for the benefit of others. I was shaken from my lingering sleep through a journal entry on 7/24/08 where I wrote "In healing our brokeness it can produce a fertil bed from our pain within to be poured out in healing the lives of others. Only when we get to this place,albeit as a result of tragic circumstances can this be understood and for others." So I have a vision,and eventhough right now I am an employee at a grocery store I enjoy picking up trash on the floor that I see others pass by because there is a glory of God who sees even when we do things others may never see. I believe God will make himself known and strong to those who trust Him for the vision that is given regardless of circumstance. There is an opportunity for each child of God to live wide awake as the artist creating upon the canvas of the world to bring about hope beyond what has been thought or imagined. In this new life I lead I identify with the scripture that says "Arise O sleeper and Christ will shine upon you" It is like in the film The Matrix Keanu Reeves character was given a new name Neo when he was made aware of his true role in a vital life that consisted of so much more than imagined. So I wonder what part in the battle for good and evil does Jesus have for me to play,because you never know what truly living wide awake may bring your way. Although I will be celebrating my 33rd birthday I have just begun to embrace a strong awareness that I have had even as a child. Which is that I am truly destined for something more,alongside a loving and personal heavenly father that has stepped into my every experience in Christ Jesus. The sleep has fallen from my eyes having been quickened for a life wide awake. One significant response to this call comes in an action that I have chosen to take by enrolling in a local college to finish my degree despite learning style limitations. In doing so my hope is to further what God can do now that I see streaks of hues and color upon a tapestry that living wide awake can display through a life lived well by intention. The spell is broken; and my hope is to remain forever changed in the endeavors of living wide awake.

Rememberances of our time in Eden

The ivy climbed and rose over the golden gates of Eden once aglo and bright over the land as far as the eye could see beyond the garden. Now the last pieces of chipped rust had fallen to the ground. The gates no longer visible,but grown over,succumbed to the pull within the dark,inner void of the garden taking it all back.

The Jordan River is dry,as it once burst its banks.

Lord God please help me
to continue taking the steps of faith
into the waters of the Jordan and your purposes for me.
As the water will recede inch by inch till the flow has stopped
upstream,and I walk on dry ground.
Joshua 4:23
For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan
before you until you had crossed over the dry land.

Gods Promised Lands

Numbers 13:23
When they came to the Valley of Eshcol,they cut down a branch
with a single cluster of grapes,which was carried on a pole by two men.

I stand on a grassy cliff precipice of Mount Nebo.
Im overlooking a plain of fertile grasslands near
the outskirts of the promised land.
Only I dont want to die here like Moses with a fading glimpse
and not be able to posses the promised land God has prepared
for those of sound faith.
O how I want to cross my Jordan into that good land God
will not only show me,but lead me into when I cross that
border holding Fathers right hand.

Lent: Wed Feb 25- Sat Apr 11

Surely you desire integrity in the inner self. Ps51:6
You are not pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken and contrite spirit.Ps51:17
Lent is an outward symbol or manifestation of Christian piety that can often be seen by a black mark of ash in the form of a cross upon the forehead of each believer taking part in the sacrament. Lent is a fourty day retreat that corresponds to Jesus fourty days of temptation in the desert by the devil. The sacrament of Lent also involves a refrain from something much like a fast. The devotional practice of Lent is wonderful,but in scripture God reminds us that He is seeking those with penitent hearts for a working of the innermost essential life of the heart. An innermost process and work that is seared by the holiness of God. The practice of Lent can most certainly be a sacred act in the life of the believer;and as a follower of Christ we are to partake of our individual rite of worship on a daily basis through taking up the way of the cross that has been set before those called by Christ. Unless we have recieved the wondrous working of the mighty power of God in the salvation and resurrection of Jesus Christ the outward demarcation procures nothing of lasting significance in the life of the heart where God longs to reside.
The Lord longs to delight your heart in a perpetual visitation of His holiness.

Eve

Eve left the vine and berries which had broken through the soil as she removed herself from the prescence of crackling fire. At this point in her freshly carved beginning her stark,green pupils were ablaze with shining light about the peripheral gaze. This acuity of vision was beginning to wane because you see at this time newly removed from eden the senses were lessening by degrees. Eve walked a few paces to be alone as her thoughts now had to ponder a cause and effect representing disfigured elements of the mind that could never have been imagined in the souls security of seeing God face to face in the world she was forced to abandon without a trace. There was no time to collect anything or take it with them. She began to allow her eyes and the mind providing a ceaseless dialogue of random merit to probe very slowly the most detailed elements of the hights of the forest which cover the entire land to the west. Through Eve's diligence and extravagance which only God could have crafted she is able to bring light into the expanse of heart as to her full character,as the eye of her mind cast a glance downward to speak to Eve from within. So with the eyes of her true nature out of hiding to behold it all each glaring shortcoming quite possibly has been revealed. Eve is given one fleeting,omniscient glimpse of a time yet to begin proceeding her temporal,crowning moment of existence. Eve can behold all the devestation and triumph that every traveler of earth will meet up with in a world of forevers.

The Caterpillar is Aspiring

What comes directly after being healed?
When you can sense it:and the wings begin to stir
as wind rises through feathers.
I think of the butterfly which goes through stages in its metamorphosis.
The butterfly begins as a caterpillar in a cocoon which breaks through
a fragile,grey shell.
As a butterfly the insect is fitted with wings made of bright colors which enable flight.
The butterfly has reached its grand stage having capabilities unlike any other in the stage of its development. The butterfly does not complain or wonder what it would be like to descend in a return to the former stages of growth.
The same principle applies to self esteem that has been fought so hard to attain.
Once you have realized a healthy self image accept it,and spread your wings.
Sometimes we just need a little room to fly.

Merry-Go-Round

Throughout this day Ive been invited to ride
a horse on the merry go round of the aniety of others
that spins round and round.
Im spinning and spinning. Now my stomach is churning.
I lean into the turn only to gaze into the dizzying whir
as the merry-go-round carries me around and around
causing the blue sky beyond the fairground to spin out of focus.
You must hold on to the reigns of the plaster steed because
you never know if this ride will ever end.