When I first came to and was violently jarred awake I realized that I had not been living fully awake when I was on a mission trip to Romania in May2008. It painfully dawned on me that I was not about others. I have not been living for others out of hurt and the demands of being loved first. So with my eyes squinted enough to make out the first traces of the light of a new vision I fervrently asked God to make me about other people. I had become stagnant in this area of service; and I realized being only about me was vastly inhibiting Gods dream placed in my heart,and a vision oddly enough about reaching people through the story God is telling through my life.
I had a wide awake moment jusy deciding if I should buy the book Wide Awake by Erwin McManus. I was very disappointed because I had given a blog address that has several entries that are Christian inspiration to a published author in the Atlanta area;and I had seen this person several times without any feedback. Which led me to have a conversation with God. I was hurting and realized my dream to become a writer seemed to be slipping away once again. Instead of allowing selfish ambition to play out as intended I came to the place where I told God that I surrender all to what you have planned for me. I had been battling in my mind about picking up Wide Awake because I didnt want to read a book about being great because I didnt want to be reminded about how I couldnt measure up. Then at the exact time of starting Wide Awake I was shook from the deep sleep that has kept me for so many years when I was given a book at a divine intersection in my life that spoke about digging up your buried talent,gifts,and passions in a way that I have never been spoken to in my life. How do you posses something if you were never aware that it existed in the first place. Now that I have been studying the book that God led me to purchase I have been alive and wide awake in a way I have not known in the first thirty years of my life. Just the fact that I found the writing contest advertisement in the back of the book and decided to write again for a contest because I still believe I have something to share with others is living wide awake and in a state of expectancy. It is an enlivening experience to make conscious decisions to live wide awake in pursuit of a dream that could be for the benefit of others. I was shaken from my lingering sleep through a journal entry on 7/24/08 where I wrote "In healing our brokeness it can produce a fertil bed from our pain within to be poured out in healing the lives of others. Only when we get to this place,albeit as a result of tragic circumstances can this be understood and for others." So I have a vision,and eventhough right now I am an employee at a grocery store I enjoy picking up trash on the floor that I see others pass by because there is a glory of God who sees even when we do things others may never see. I believe God will make himself known and strong to those who trust Him for the vision that is given regardless of circumstance. There is an opportunity for each child of God to live wide awake as the artist creating upon the canvas of the world to bring about hope beyond what has been thought or imagined. In this new life I lead I identify with the scripture that says "Arise O sleeper and Christ will shine upon you" It is like in the film The Matrix Keanu Reeves character was given a new name Neo when he was made aware of his true role in a vital life that consisted of so much more than imagined. So I wonder what part in the battle for good and evil does Jesus have for me to play,because you never know what truly living wide awake may bring your way. Although I will be celebrating my 33rd birthday I have just begun to embrace a strong awareness that I have had even as a child. Which is that I am truly destined for something more,alongside a loving and personal heavenly father that has stepped into my every experience in Christ Jesus. The sleep has fallen from my eyes having been quickened for a life wide awake. One significant response to this call comes in an action that I have chosen to take by enrolling in a local college to finish my degree despite learning style limitations. In doing so my hope is to further what God can do now that I see streaks of hues and color upon a tapestry that living wide awake can display through a life lived well by intention. The spell is broken; and my hope is to remain forever changed in the endeavors of living wide awake.
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I'm going to assume you're talking about me in regards to the Atlanta author.
We write entirely different genres-- 100% different. I write young adult fiction that I would wager might one day be challenged by religious groups; you seem to write Christian inspirational pieces.
My feedback on your writing itself would not be helpful to you because it comes from the wrong perspective; it would be like asking an engineer to give advice to a biologist on the grounds that "they're both scientists." I thought that I explained this, but perhaps I didn't make it clear. I did, however, offer to help you with the writing industry itself multiple times, but you often told me that you weren't really seeking publication at the moment. I'm always happy to answer any industry specific questions, but when I can't edit your work both for copyright, time, and ineffectual reasons, and yet you don't have any industry questions, I'm unsure how to help you. If there is anything I can answer regarding the industry itself, I'm happy to do so.
-Jackson
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